everything is beyond me. My mind's eye I can see every movement, every word. But when it comes time for her, it is louder than ideas. I cry, I cry all the time. He does not look at it, says another word that hollow out a hole in my heart. Is this just today broke through from the inside out? It hurts my heart, completely physically. I feel that hole, I feel like a sip of it tears. How many still hold on?
Again, I'm alone when I need someone. I cry, but pitches are looking at me with astonishment. Soul and no one will help me. The only thing I manage to say is Mom. This time, blasphemes, calling Corcia, calmly. Nothing is able to calm me down. In the end I take a bath, cold - only this brings relief. why he does not understand why he was doing? whole day passes me with tears blurring the image. I do not want to live with him, so why not come out? What I'm afraid to whore? I guess I'm stupid. I guess this man is sick. It hurts me every breath, he does everything in his power. Is he doing it on purpose?
Krakow would be very successful if not for him. While this is not good for me when I visit there, and I think about October. Not good for me at all. I want to sleep. Too many unknowns, too many feelings and pain.
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